Space Hopper First?

Hi Alfs.

A little reported world first sponsored by XSFashion.com has just occured.

Getting across the Sahara in a Land Rover is tricky enough what with all the sand, flies and maurauding bandits.

So, think you're tough? Try doing it on a Space Hopper




Yes there's our man, XSFashion.com sponsored supremo Space Hopperer, well lets just call him Roo-pert, making good progress through the wilds of Algeria or maybe it's Chad. Either way it's very hot, very rocky and well very brown and blue really. Into this barren landscape he arrives on a large orange hopper defying nature and any random camel to stamp his own peculiar mark on the unforgiving landscape. (That last sentence reads better if you imagine in said at a loud whisper in awestruck Richard Attenburgh tones).

So hats off to Roo-pert for a remarkable feat and XSFashion.com will happily provide further Space Hoppers for any other fools (sorry............ 'daring adventurers') who wish to attempt to repeat this feat.

Wow. what a way to beat a recession. Keep having fun!

M

Here Comes The Sun

Hi Adventurers and Lovers of Fun,

At last! After what seems like a very cold and long winter we seem to be finally there. Spring has arrived and early: it's time to enjoy a major vitamin D boost and spend as much time as possible soaking up the rays.

To help with this most pleasurable of activities Venture Blue has the following tips to make the most of this sunny spell:-

1. Homeworking. Suggest a trial initiative to your boss in order to help cut carbon emissions and boost productivity! Tell her a bit of 'blue sky thinking" is just what the company needs. If you can somehow include the words 'diversity', 'equality', 'health', 'safety' and 'environmental' in your pitch so much the better. Then deliver what you promised............. a bit of blue sky thinking.

2. Sunbathing. Get on line asap and get your sun care products from thesuncareshop.com. OK it doesn't feel like you'll burn but it's important to get the best possible base tan laid down before things get hotter.

3. Wear less. Yes thats right; make the most of the warmth and get your shorts on. I checked yesterday and they are fine from about 10.00am to 5.00pm by which time it starts getting a little chilly. That's 7 hours of leg freedom. Some suggestions from oxbowshop.co.uk. For the guys.The red Busou Boardshorts, cause like I mentioned previously, bright colours are going to be the thing in a recession. For the ladies the pink Belma 'Volley ball Style' shorts are sure to get you noticed!

4. Top up your 'surf fitness' with a few games of aerobie and a few sessions on your extra long slack line. Keep your mobile on and if your boss calls you can make the obvious joke; which hopefully will be taken the right way! (writer takes no liability if this backfires and you get sacked!)

Whatever you do, get out have fun and be 'careless'

M

Beware of imitations (expensive or otherwise)

Hi Alfs,

Now was it only me or did anyone else notice something a bit odd about the Michael Jackson pr event where he announced his 'amazing comeback tour'?

Anything about Michael himself?

I've seen it a couple of times and also looked at the still pictures and I have this doubt that I can't quite rid my mind of.

The body language and movement seemed, well, different. The ever changing face looked, well, changed. The voice seemed kind of unfamiliar. The question has to be raised, Was it really him?

We saw a similar use of a double on tv a few times, just before the Gulf War. The particularly friendly looking Sadam Hussein that used to be wheeled out for public appearances, where there was likelihood of being lynched/shot/nuked or questioned by the BBC. Now if such a stand in can be found in a country where looking like Saddam Hussein was presumably only a short term career choice, think of the worldwide potential for Michael. With all the practice that the inumerable M. Jackson impersonators have had over the past few decades ther must be a rich mine of potential applicants for a role in a similar vein.

In fact I'm expecting that these comeback concerts begin to pop up all over the world, with several, in different continents and on a single night. Like a franchising operation: imagine Subway but with a bigger choice of options. The rustic Italian Michael Jackson, the black rye Michael Jackson, the wheaty Chinese Michael Jackson; all moon walking their way through countless shows across the face of the planet.

Meanwhile somewhere the real Michael Jackson rakes in his commissions and keeps out of harms way.

Anyway, one thing we can assure even the most ardent conspiracy theorist of, is that everything on all of the Venture Blue family of websites are the real thing. There are no imposters here! We are and have the genuine article, right down to the improbably named Ventura! (check with Companies House if you must!).

So get that thriller feeling and log on today. Oh I've enclosed a link to the new suncare shop just in case you come across this blog in your spare time Michael.

M

Great News

Great news Adventurers and Lovers of Fun,

Venture Blue has added a suncare shop to it's portfolio of web stores for the outwardly mobile.

In the past, buying decent sun tan lotion for that skiing or surfing trip abroad either during or just after a long UK winter involved various perils briefly summarised below:-

Scenario 1. Opting for convenience you pick up that orange coloured bottle in the supermarket with your grocery shopping. Sure it's a brand that neither you nor anyone else outside of the former Warsaw pact nations have ever heard of and it's contents seem to stretch to a unfeasibly large list. It's handy however and it seems to have the factor that's just right for your skin and your proposed destination. Problem sorted...................or so you thought!

Whilst next to a chilly frozen chicken cabinet the contents seemed to have a proper consistency, little did you imagine the effect that a bit of warmth would have on that bottle of goo. Once exposed to a temperature even approaching the Med in April the viscosity of your suntan lotion begins to resemble the (highly diluted) contents those tomato ketchup bottles, previously offered to the punters at a particular chain of roadside cafs, before the maestro Blumenthal worked his magic on them.

So it's towell down, swimming constume on, sunglasses adjusted and a little squirt of suntan lotion and it's......... NO! Ah Man look at that! As half of the whole bottle now slides off your body in a greasy cascade onto your new towel and into the sand. Needlesstosay your mates, with their stock of Hawaiian Tropic and Banana Boat, express their sympathy in the traditional way!

RESULT:- Blotchy skin, ruined towel and mockery

Scenario 2. Determined to get your favourite brand of sun products you use valuable time (and money) driving into town, paying for parking and working your way through all of the potential outlets that could possibly be stockists. First the Chemists where you inevitably end up in the queue with all the people needing prescriptions. Having finally witnessed the resolution of the debate over Mrs Miller's sleeping tablets you find that sadly your desired brand isn't stocked.

Next the chain stores. Boots are waiting for stock (but have you considered buying 12 boxes of Lindor Chocolates with tomorrows sell by date for the price of 7 sir/madam). Superdrug have some OK stuff but it's not really what you want so you pacify the salesperson with the purchase of a couple of books of stamps which seems to really make their day. John Lewis? Forget it! You'll die from inhaling all that perfume on the way in and then get lost.

Finally the niche retailers who may or may not sell suntan lotion (but we wouldn't dream of dissing them as they're generally good guys). Perhaps Milletts (you're grasping at straws now). Eventually it's back to Superdrug and the compromise solution that could have happened 45 minutes ago (without the stamps).

RESULT: Frustration

Scenario 3. What's the point of buying sun care products in advance and spending 10 minutes discussing their contents with security at the airport. Wait until you get to your destination and buy them there. And yes there is plenty of stock and.........no is that really the price and is 20 euros really £25 now and is that large looking tube full of lotion or air and Hmm looking at the volume I'm going to need two and is that really another 20 euros for the aftersun. And does that Spanish shopkeeper really think the offer of a free paper sunhat with every 100 euors spent is really going to have any influence whatsoever on my purchases.

RESULT: Expensive

Happily there is now a better way. Its called thesuncareshop.com.

With fantastic deals on some of the top brands and the added security of knowing that it's covered by the 'Venture Blue' high quality level of service and returns, why bother hunting around. Just visit thesuncareshop.com and have fun in the sun.

Adious mes amis.

M

Bad times/ Good times

Bonjour ALFs.

Although at the moment I'm not too sure about the 'Bon'.

The stockmarket gets worse, unemployment gets worse, even the weather, having been positively spring like over the last few days, has taken a turn for the worse with gales predicted and as I write beginning to arrive. (And I've only just fixed my roof!).

"Where have the good times gone?" is a common refrain on almost every news channel and in every newspaper editoral.

Well I have an answer. They are in your thoughts! Hmm! Metaphysics I hear you say. No,not really that or even some self help philosophy; just a plea for a bit of positive thinking. Let all true lovers of adventure and fun lead the way.

Now I believe bright colours are part of the remedy. I know this flies in the face of neutral grungy looking drab, that has been the fashion but believe me this is all about to change. So here are a few suggestions:-

I know I've mentioned it before but the Rip Curl Tropicalia Retro bikini is just what a positive thinking girl needs. Ladies please buy one and start wearing it as soon as reasonably practical and help get the economy moving again. Get the matching shorts and help make Alister Darling's life easier.

Guys, what about Protest's Bond 3D boardshorts They positively scream 'life is good!'
Keep a Hot Tuna 'Broke' wallet in your pocket and enjoy the irony as your portfolio soars in value.

In the meantime why not treat your lady to a bit of defence against this final cold snap. Although a bit pricey, go against the grain with the Oxbow Fulya coat. Bright, stylish; I'm not guaranteeing success if you buy one, but it's hard to imagine the brokers shorting financials when they see a few of these on display.

M

Buy Some Rockets

Adventurers and Lovers of Fun (ALFs)

An alert to you all this morning! Those darned Commies are at it again. North Korea to be precise. Launching a long range missile capable of hitting the West under the guise of putting a satelitte up, to be precise. Breaking all their recent agreements to be precise.

And where's the wild rhetoric from the White House? Where are the garbled threats to inflict massive damage on the axis of evil for this violation? Why hasn't there been an immediate challenge to 'Bring it on punk'? Whose misunderestimitating who these days?

Well I have a solution that will appeal to fun lovers. Buy your own rockets and stage a personal show of defiance in your own back yard. Stomp rockets to be precise (unless you can get some tomahawks and we haven't got a site for those..............yet!!). We do however have a great range of weaponry that should make those pesky commies think twice. Check out the range of rockets here.

I would advise a full battery of Airburst Rockets and Mighty Missiles for the initial offensive, followed up with a hail of Stomp Rockets for closer range combat. If you've got an old action man kicking around somewhere, why not hang him up from a tall tree and use him as target practice so you wont be found wanting on the aiming front when you you have to use your rockets in anger.

It might also be worth stocking up on a wild sling giant water balloon launcher to supplement the stomp rockets, particularly if you can second a couple of mates into your militia.

Finally if this fails and you have to make a stand, make sure you have some Nerf NStrike Maverick blasters between you and maybe enlist the help of the cavalry in the form of a few Morphibians.

Whatever happens to the great land of ALFonia, defend it with all your might and don't forget to HAVE FUN whilst you do so.

M

Are Dogs Fun?

Adventurers and Lovers of Fun,

Are dogs fun. An emotive question perhaps and one that might polarise any particular group of people in the world.

Last Saturday an article in the Times by their restaurant critic Giles Coren contained an impassioned plea that all dogs should be killed! Essentially the reason was that they were nasty brutes and not very particular about their toilet habits.

Now I was somewhat alarmed by this call coming from a restaurant critic. Was there an alternative motive I wondered. Had Mr Coren been for a particularly good Korean or Tongan meal, or for that matter a particularly bad one. Anyway it got me thinking about a way of having fun with the 'nasty brutes' rather than persecuting them through a column in an august publication.

Happily XSFashion.com now stock the dogobie at only £5.99 and although most dogs will eventually wreck it, it provides a robust toy for many outdoor walks until that inevitability.

So dont write nasty things about our canine pals, get a dogobie and have some fun.

M